May 7...Really Do Not Like This Day....

So, I realize that very few people really hate their birthdays, but my twin sister and I really do not like today.  Yes, today is my 34th birthday.  34 years ago on a Sunday after church as my mom was walking to the house she told my dad it was time.  Around 6:35 I was born, exactly 32 minutes later, so was my twin sister Amy.  Yes, I hold those long 32 minutes over her head.  But I digress.  In 2008, our sister married her sweetheart and soon after was diagnosed with cancer.  She went through treatments with Amy and my brother-in-law by her side with his family, completely devoted to her.  She was hospitalized a couple of times and seemed to be doing good, and the doctors gave her a good outlook.  Then in April we found out that it was worse that it was thought to be.  We were in the hospital at the same time.  Me for surgery and her for a bad reaction to her treatment.  Shortly after her release, our mom went in and all seemed okay for a bit, then she went right back in the day before Amy's and my birthday, prognosis was not good.  We made all the arrangements necessary to get there after a few hiccups and headaches.  It was not an easy trip to make.  My mom was just out of the hospital, got really sick, I was recovering from surgery and I know Amy was taking it hard, being that her and Dawn had roomed together for a long time before she married her husband.  They were very close.  Well, we found out the day that the arrangements were finally set that she passed away, our birthday.  I did not make it in time (for which I hold Gerry's company in complete accountability for).  So needless to say for a person who loves birthday's and would insist on making her own dinner and birthday cake, I went to hating my own birthday.  I refuse to have birthday cake anymore (usually it would be Strawberry Shortcake with Angel Food Cake, my favorite).  Now it is a reminder of a sad day, a day when a sweet spirit and a sweet beloved sister, daughter, wife and aunt passed away from a hateful disease.  We all miss her terribly.  I am happy for my brother-in-law, he is finally seeing someone new.  She is a lucky woman.  I know it was hard for him to loose her so soon after getting married (not even a year later).  Her birthday is drawing close as well, the 11th.  So on a day like today, as people post on my Facebook wall, my husband wishes me happy birthday (knowing full and well I hate it), I put on a brave face, thank them and move on.  I do have one friend who knows my feelings and tells me to just have happy just another day.  I appreciate her remembering how I feel.  I would be remiss to tell everyone not to post, so I thank them.  They are being friends after all and most do not know that my sister died today three years ago. So, I will continue to thank them.