Politics...

So the nature of politics and freedoms (this is my personal opinion here), have changed so much since I first became an adult and even more since I was a child.  I can honestly say that I am a pretty solid independent, really have no real conservative or liberal leanings.  But this last election, again my opinion, is forcing those that stand the middle ground, that can see the best of both political parties, to choose a side.  I am afraid my liberal friends really cannot see that they are so biased in their call for tolerance and my conservative friends are missing some good things from the liberal standing.  However that being said, I do lean more conservative than I do liberal.  It is the way I was raised, where I was raised and some of it my faith.  I feel I have been forced to take the conservative side of things as of late.  Democrats/Liberals are so intolerant of the Republican/Conservative morals, beliefs and views that they call them raciest, biased and other horrible things.  I can also see where the extreme right is really just as bad, but if I have to pick between my morals and personal beliefs, then I will stand with my Heavenly Father and Savior, which is where my morals come from.  I still believe I am an independent.  I can see good things from each side, but if I must choose between being called a raciest or that I am intolerant because of my conservative leanings, then I will choose being Republican and a Conservative rather than a Democrat or a Liberal.  One side should not have to sacrifice having religious freedom or morals because the other is not so religious and their morals are not the same.  This country was founded on religious freedom for a reason.  I have actually heard liberals and democrats (since each party has liberals and conservatives in them) say that there should be no religion in America, that way no one has to listen to or have religious beliefs forced on them.  Okay, here is my thought on that one:  If you do not want to listen, then don't, if someone is trying to force their religion on you, then walk away, no one is making you do either!  Do not stand there and whine about it, do something about it.  I do not force my religion on those that do not want it, but if they ask questions, I will answer them and I would rather them ask questions instead of assuming what they hear in the media or from former members or those that feel they are an expert on it, because why would you want information from someone who really isn't part of it, or was a former member.  I will tell you from that stand point, because I was there at one point, nothing good is said from this point of view, the one where the person used to be part of or quit attending or was burned for whatever reason.  I have nothing but good to share now and I love my faith, it gives me substance, a love for my neighbors, and a love for all mankind.  That is what the Savior wants of us.  So, I choose to be Republican for the time being and stick to my Conservative beliefs.  It is not what I want, I want to be an Independent with Conservative leanings, but if I must choose because I am called a traitor or ignorant or stupid because of those leanings, then I will choose the next best thing for me!  And for the record, I really am an Independent, and I love all people and beliefs and respect others morals.  I have friends from all walks of life and I love them all dearly.  Just because we have different points of views does not mean I will stop being their friend, I love them for their point of view, it is what makes them who they are.  I just wish some of them would be mindful and see what I see, good everywhere and not hate or be intolerant of others.  But then if that was the case, the world would be perfect and the Savior would have come again and life would be perfect!

So Proud of Our Boy....

These last two months have been a mix of feelings.  One is that we know that we are meant to be here, the other is the difficulty we are having finding work, which really surprises me with Gerry.  Most of the people tell him he is over qualified or never even bother to respond to his application or resume.  Just pure frustration.  We pray, fast, ask for more prayers from others and still we are waiting.  We know that all things happen in Heavenly Fathers time, but sometimes it is hard to be patient when we have bills creeping in.  Due to emergencies, our savings has been wiped out for a while now and we have yet to really start building it back up enough to really make a difference.

The other feeling, wow, it is amazing.  First, we know that people in our little branch prayed for us to be here.  Second, the school is AMAZING!  Our son Dean is doing so well.   He loves school again, but even more than he did before he hated it.  He loves all his teachers, they are fantastic.  Dean is on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan and soon to be Individualized Health Plan, which is new to me).  Due to the problems he has, he gets help so he can succeed.  The teachers are making such a difference.  Dean is capable of good grades and usually has great ones, with the exception of maybe a C or a D.  Right now, he is A/B and can make the honor roll if he can keep them up for the last four days of school, should be no hard feat, but we will see.  We don't want to tell him due to stress and anxiety, which makes it hard for him to do well.  We actually have to argue with him to keep him from going to school way too early, like an hour early!  The school system here is 4 in the state and around 700 out of 22,000.  Wow, that says something.  We could not have asked for better.  This just tells us, we needed to be here so that he could finally start succeeding.  He even helps out in class, reads aloud, and is participating by being a leader, something we have never seen him succeed at, usually there are problems.  I feel so blessed he is getting the help with his education more than Gerry and me pushing for more and better.  Now if the rest would just fall into place, life would be grand.

May 7...Really Do Not Like This Day....

So, I realize that very few people really hate their birthdays, but my twin sister and I really do not like today.  Yes, today is my 34th birthday.  34 years ago on a Sunday after church as my mom was walking to the house she told my dad it was time.  Around 6:35 I was born, exactly 32 minutes later, so was my twin sister Amy.  Yes, I hold those long 32 minutes over her head.  But I digress.  In 2008, our sister married her sweetheart and soon after was diagnosed with cancer.  She went through treatments with Amy and my brother-in-law by her side with his family, completely devoted to her.  She was hospitalized a couple of times and seemed to be doing good, and the doctors gave her a good outlook.  Then in April we found out that it was worse that it was thought to be.  We were in the hospital at the same time.  Me for surgery and her for a bad reaction to her treatment.  Shortly after her release, our mom went in and all seemed okay for a bit, then she went right back in the day before Amy's and my birthday, prognosis was not good.  We made all the arrangements necessary to get there after a few hiccups and headaches.  It was not an easy trip to make.  My mom was just out of the hospital, got really sick, I was recovering from surgery and I know Amy was taking it hard, being that her and Dawn had roomed together for a long time before she married her husband.  They were very close.  Well, we found out the day that the arrangements were finally set that she passed away, our birthday.  I did not make it in time (for which I hold Gerry's company in complete accountability for).  So needless to say for a person who loves birthday's and would insist on making her own dinner and birthday cake, I went to hating my own birthday.  I refuse to have birthday cake anymore (usually it would be Strawberry Shortcake with Angel Food Cake, my favorite).  Now it is a reminder of a sad day, a day when a sweet spirit and a sweet beloved sister, daughter, wife and aunt passed away from a hateful disease.  We all miss her terribly.  I am happy for my brother-in-law, he is finally seeing someone new.  She is a lucky woman.  I know it was hard for him to loose her so soon after getting married (not even a year later).  Her birthday is drawing close as well, the 11th.  So on a day like today, as people post on my Facebook wall, my husband wishes me happy birthday (knowing full and well I hate it), I put on a brave face, thank them and move on.  I do have one friend who knows my feelings and tells me to just have happy just another day.  I appreciate her remembering how I feel.  I would be remiss to tell everyone not to post, so I thank them.  They are being friends after all and most do not know that my sister died today three years ago. So, I will continue to thank them.

I Know Heavenly Father Works Are Not For Us To Understand

The longer we are here, the more I know that we are meant to be here.  We had a meeting at Dean's school today, wow, amazing!  The school that he went to in Texas was great, they worked on several things and were amazing.  Georgia, not so much.  They stopped his social skills services when we got there (halfway through second grade) and at my request they began to work on them again before we moved here.  That is six years without services and I feel he suffered so much in that time without them.  We do as much as we can at home to reinforce them at home as much as possible, but having them in the two areas he spends the most time does so much more.  We try to be very active parents, but as a child grows from childhood to teenager, that becomes difficult, they withdraw and become more focused on friends and not family relationships.  They automatically reinstated this when he started in his schedule as a class.....wow!  That left me speechless, I could not thank them enough!  Today's meeting went so well, they asked for pointers, a sort of rescue plan if he has a meltdown or becomes angry, what his triggers are, things that concerned him that they saw in his file from his old school.  Gerry and I (especially me) have never had this kind of proactive approach from a school before.  Something that really bothered me, Georgia was constantly retesting, it went something like this: moved to Georgia, retest for services; moved to new grade (I think forth), retest; moved on post to new school; retest again (yes that is twice in one year); moved to another grade level (I believe it was sixth this time and a new school), retest; and they just retested again right before we moved here, not to mention they retested in Texas when we moved there.  So in the last seven years he was tested six times, so on average almost once a year pretty much except one year that he was there, and I may have even missed one for when he was in third and fifth grade, hard to keep track of all the testing.  So when they said that he qualified without testing again, I was so relieved, I even volunteered whatever IEP's I had at their disposal.  They asked for his most recent one, relief, I have them all, just have to find the one they want!  They are also very concerned about his relationship with biological father and even offered to help us in whatever way they can.  Again, wow!  This is another first.  Dean has expressed, already, the abuse (not specifically what he went through, but that is has happened) at his hand.  This made them very uncomfortable and where other school districts where he has said something have wanted to wash their hands of this, they are willing to do what it takes to severe visitation.  Not sure what their involvement would be, but we were at a loss for words.  My understanding is that schools are obligated to report and be involved if needs be but we could not get help.  Needless to say, Heavenly Father placed us here.  We found that several members of the ward were praying for a priesthood holder to be placed here in our new hometown.  We were prayed here.  There is a need for a good man like Gerry, we needed a good school like Dean (although at this point I would say excellent), as for me, I am not sure what my need is, why I need to be here, or what my need is from this beautiful little town is, but I am willing to find out!

GoodBye Old Life, Hello New Life...

So after twenty years in the Army, Gerry is done!  That is right, he retired with honors!  I am proud of my man.  Life has new adventures in store for us.  We initially thought we were moving to Arizona, but things changed, then it was Montana, but here we are, Decorah, Iowa!  The last year has literally been a hectic one.  Gerry kept trying to submit his retirement paperwork for approval to no avail, it kept getting kicked back to him.  UGH!  sometimes the military makes me so angry about things.  To retire, papers have to be done and turned in a year before the retirement date, so he was following protocol, they were not, we dealt with it and tried to roll with the punches.  He had to redo his medal, his NCOER (which he should not have been doing himself, duh, it is an evaluation, why would he evaluate himself??, just don't get it, but Kelly Hill had been having him do his own since he got there).  After nine months of this, things got tiring, we got concerned and started coming up with a backup plan after Retirement told him that he needed to have his paperwork in at seven months to retire on time, and that he needed permission to retire on time!  Crazy and stupid!  He continued to have more troubles with this same issue and after January still no papers to start his Retirement Briefings.  Backup plan became more and more of a "Do we do this?"  What was the backup plan??  To contact news agencies, Mitt Romney and some other people to highlight the problems we were having, specifically that Gerry was having.  Twenty years in the military deserved better than this treatment.  To top it all off, he found out that if the papers were not done and they continued to do this, we would lose all benefits: housing, MWR, commissary, Tricare, and pay.  So we would be homeless with no pay, no grocery shopping, could really careless about the MWR, rarely used it anyway, it was the rest of it that mattered!  So after some serious worries, he got his papers, FINALLY!  So we started making plans to move to Montana, we looked into places to live, found an apartment complex to apply for and got the application and filled it and started supplying paperwork they needed.  We started packing, preparing for the Retirement Ceremony (whole different ball of wax!), and sorting through the things to keep and not to keep.  Life was hectic and the man that was home for almost two months, was no longer there to help out so much again.  He was hectically trying to get all of his briefings in that he should have had already.   So the big day starts to come, Gerry goes to his Retirement Ceremony practice just to find that they do not have his medal!  WHAT??  The Brigade "took" his medal paperwork to NTC in California and it was downrange.  So Gerry did not (once again) get the honor he deserved from stinking Kelly Hill!  Long story.  He did not get to walk and if they did not find his paperwork, he would not get to clear base and we would not be able to leave on time.  I took it upon myself to vent my angry and upset emotions on four different Facebook accounts that were associated with 3rd ID.  Needless to say, that got the ball rolling and some higher officers were even scrambling to make things right and find his medal paperwork, not that it would matter for him to walk the next day.  So we got to leave on time.  We left and headed north to visit Gerry's brother in Minnesota.  After two days, we decided we needed more time after a very emotional day with Carl for Gerry (they took Carl's daughter Molly back to school and had a very long talk on the way back and things that he did not know were found out, it was very hard for him).  Long story shorter, we decided that Montana was out, Heavenly Father wanted us here in Iowa and so we moved into their house in Decorah and have been searching for a job ever since.  We love it here, Dean loves the school and his teachers and the school counselor.  Gerry's brother and sister-in-law are fantastic and we are so grateful!

Small Home Decorating...

So I have no real room for a big Christmas Tree this year, haven't really for the last three years, and my old artificial tree broke.  So instead of going out and replacing a tree for our little home this week, I used my little fiber optics tree to decorate a table with some small ornaments, hung my lights in my windows and the rest of the ornaments from the light bar and arch ways in my home, with my white garland.  I found a way to make my home festive and celebrate my favorite holiday with my favorite thing, putting up my ornaments and pretty decorations.  Here are a few tips through my pictures, sorry if they are not so great.

Crying.....and a ball

Next month, my husband and I are going to my first and last military ball.  I get to dress up in a beautiful dress, with beautiful jewelry, pretty shoes, have my hair done, nails done, with pretty hair doodads and all.  Well, we decided on a dress that would match his pants (well kind of, I thought we were going for the darker dress, which would have matched perfect, but I have a lighter dress, but it is just a beautiful).  As I was considering accessories, a must for these types of things for women, I was considering purses, shoes, jewelry and nails.  I found the perfect shoes, a great little silver clutch, wonderful hair doodads and nail polish with a nail polish pen to actually draw on my nails (wonders will never cease) and in silver even.  I was just having troubles with deciding on my jewelry.  I knew the bracelet that I wanted to wear, it was the one my sister picked out for all of her sisters, we were her bridal party and since I was not there for the actual wedding, I got it the day I showed up for her viewing after she passed away from her battle with cancer.  When my husband decided to join the church, he knew there were things he had to do and was getting ready to deploy, so we had to wait for fifteen months for him to come home and get himself squared away for his baptism.  He decided to buy me a wedding ring set after he got home because all I had was my engagement ring.  So as we were picking it out, he decided to get a set, but his kept loosing the diamonds, so we bought him a different one that would match as best as possible to the one that I had.  While there, he bought my mother a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring and earring set in white gold, and I had previously picked out a large (I would say foot and a half) teddy bear in an army green uniform and gave him general stars with dog tags with my dad's name on them saying he is the general of the Frakes Family.  He is the oldest of his siblings and the patriarch of our family.  We presented these to my parents at my husband's baptism when they brought Dean to us in 2008 that August.  It hit me one night that the jewelry would be perfect and would make my night that much more special.  So, I called my sister and talked to her about looking for them, and then tried to get a hold of my dad.  I knew it might be a long shot, I have to have the ring re-sized and I didn't know if he would let me have them for that because of that main reason.  Instead, he said that since we bought them, I should have them back.  Amy mailed them to me last Friday from Missouri and I received them in the mail today.  I knew that opening the box would be hard  to see the ring and earrings, I knew I would cry.  It was so emotional doing so.  I know that my night dressing up beautiful for my husband will have that extra special something because she will be with me now.  I asked my husband something a while back, I want to make her ring my wedding ring, I really hope he does allow it, I want to have her with me at all times, or if he doesn't let me do that, to wear it on my finger where I wear my engagement ring.  I miss my mom, there are many times I want to call her and give her news or ask for advice, or share something exciting.  Especially lately with Dean and how wonderful he is doing, or to talk about the ball, and how fun it is to be getting all dressed up again.  You never know how much you miss someone or appreciate them until they are gone.  Hold on to your dear loved ones tight, you'll miss them dearly when they are no longer there.