New Start...

Okay, so I already have another blog, but I have since decided that I would try again. Only this one will be for myself and my family. I have a wonderful husband who is in the army and a great son that will be 11 in Decemeber. We have lately been faced with many obstacles, but we are pulling together with the help of our wonderful Heavenly Father and through each other to make it through them. I lost a beautiful sister in May, have faced my parents continueing health problems, and my son's disorders that periodically send us to the ER or to another medical institution to continue getting him the help he so dearly needs. To further the struggles, we have been struggling for four years to add to our little family. Dean wants sibling, or more specifically sisters, so badly, and I know that my little family is not complete yet. While Gerry was deployed in 2007, I started the slow process of figuring out what is wrong. I faced cancer several years ago at the young age of 22, with an almost two year old. It was very frightening and I learned to love my family and my life with a greater devotion that I had ever given them, which was less than they deserved, even after, they still deserved more. I began to realize that this cancer had affected me more than I had expected, for all seemed normal until testing began. The doctors had discovered fibroids, but thought they would not cause a problem. Thankfully, pre-menopose was not a problem, but we soon discovered another problem. I had only one good side. After seaking more help, we also learned that my body doesn't do what a woman needs it to do to have children, so I would need more help than we anticipated. I am blogging about this, because I have been frustrated, upset, cried and become more determined to do this my way. Hence the reason for the new blog. I do use alot of those kinds of words (hence, thus), just one of my quirks! You learn to love them. So we started fertility drugs last year in August. I faced horrible mood swings, hot flashes and so much more on them, but it did not work. Thanks to a wonderful doctor that I have here, I began seeing a fertility specialist. My first appointment roled around and I found that my fibroids had gotten too big, I needed surgery. In between this first appointment and my scheduled surgery, my dad had a heart attack, my sister wound up back in the hospital. My surgery went great, with one exception, we found another problem, endometrosis. I lost my right side to it. My dad swiftly recovered, but my sister however, did not. She passed away in May on the 7th. My wonderful brother-in-law lost his dear wife and my twin sister lost what I would say was her best friend. They had become so close during the time they lived together in Nebraska before Dawn married. I know that they suffered more than the rest of us due to their love for Dawn and the life she added to theirs. Amy and Ryan were by her side through the thick of her cancer and will surely be blessed for being there to help her, love her and care for her. After my recovery was over, I became really ill and could not seem to get over all this, dealing with my grief for not knowing Dawn better, or loving her the way she deserved and struggling with not knowing what I was so ill from. In June, Dean went to Wyoming to visit his dad, while Gerry was getting ready for his upcoming training at NTC in California. While he was gone, I just got worse, on some days I could barely get out of bed to start my homework or take care of our dog, Legend. I somehow made it through with the help of wonderful friends and prayers that were sent my way. Gerry came home and I felt better, so it was time to call the doc. I went in, everything looks great, I healed wonderfully. I have since started my fertility drugs again, double the dose, poor hubby and son and dog, and everything is looking postive for the time being. Just have to wait and see what is next! Stay tuned, more updates to come, more blogs about my son, my husband, life as a military spouse.