As I already mentioned, Gerry is getting ready for another deployment to Iraq. It is never easy, there is much to get done and we only just started. He has to pack his gear, get new get, pack his tuff boxes and much more. We also have to get power of attorney in place so that I can do taxes while he is gone and heaven forbid any other legal issues that he might need while he is gone. This will be his 5th deployment since 2001, and sixth over all. For those that do not know Gerry that well, he was there in the 90's for Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm. Deployments are never easy, especially for the children that are left behind with mommy or daddy that wonder where the other parent is and if they will be coming home. It never gets easier as they get older, either. This deployment may be our most difficult yet, as I might be pregnant while he is gone. I will be honest, it terrifies me that he will not be here if I am pregnant while he is gone. But, we want to start our family and looming medical issues make it important that we get pregnant as soon as possible. I am grateful that I have a wonderful son that loves to look after mommy when she doesn't feel good, lol, if you could call it that. He sometimes leaves me a bigger mess than before I wasn't feeling well, but he does try. Since he is getting older, we are trying to give him more responsibility in the home, like dishes, laundry (I started my own when I was tall enough to reach the dials, needless to say, he is starting his sooner than I did), and taking care of the dog's food. We will see what happens after deployment takes place.
One thing that military families face is a change in family dynamics. Things get tense as the deployment gets closer. I am sure that it is never intentional, and it may not happen in most families, but it does in mine. Gerry is very new to the church, despite feeling like an old soul that is finally back where he belongs, things are still hard for him at times. He tends to push us away as it gets closer, I don't know if this makes things easier for him to leave, but it is hard to bear at times. I remind him that we love him, and point out his subconscious pushing us away.
This post has been in the works for a couple of months now. Gerry has gotten his flight date. He leaves the 14th of October, which is a Wed. It is two weeks away. So much to get done, little time to do it. We are trying to spend as much time together alone and with Dean and so that he and Dean have some alone time together. One of my best friends here, I just love her to death, is Becky Hairr. She was a military child while growing up and she gave me some great advice. Since Dean is bi-polar and ADHD she suggested us to have Dean do what her mom had her do. So Dean has complied a list of five things that he wants to do with Dad and some of them include myself. He learned to grill tonight, dinner was great, I loved it. It was just cheeseburgers, but they were delicious, so just cheeseburgers is one that I will take any day if this is a prelude to his cooking in the future. We have a Wii day, where it is mostly him and Gerry, with me alittle bit, but I don't mind. Movie date, almost got excluded from that one, but he was kind and let me join them. They will go bowling together, just the two of them. He also scheduled a bike ride just the two of them. He has complete control over this list and picked grilling for his first. So far, he has had the best day in a long while.
As for me, there will be no pregnancy while Gerry is gone. Hopefully some weight loss with the help of the lap band. I tried to schedule my appointment for my checkup, but my doctor is full right now. I am also going to start researching adoption, since there is more at play than just the effects of my cervical cancer and the fibroids that I had removed in April. I started watching this reality show called The Locator and it has totally won my heart over to adoption. Finally a reality show worth having on TV. For those that do not know my opinion of reality shows, I think they stink! A waste of good TV time for something else that would be worth watching. Oh well, at least there is one. If you get the chance to catch it, do so. The guy reunites people who have been adopted, separated or other similar situations. Every single one had me in tears.
The next year will be hard, but I am hoping it is better than our last. 2007 was difficult. Two car accidents, son in the hospital, loneliness, and other struggles. I am determined to strengthen my friendships here while he is gone. Try to get out of the house more, I am too homely for my own good. These are my goals for the next year. I am hoping my dear friends here will help me in my efforts. I will continue school, almost have my associates degree. That will be June, only five more classes left. Then straight into my bachelors program. I look forward to getting it all done. With my associates I might be able to sub, think I will give it a try here when I have it. I love the classroom so much and look forward to finishing my degree.
