Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Christmas is Over, Time to Move on to Life...

Last month was great! And, not so great! After visiting my parents in Arizona, I remembered why I do not visit for more than a week. It was nice to see them and to see that my dad is doing better than I thought. My parents are working on getting him into a twenty day rehab at a hospital there to do physical therapy so that he can use his own legs again and not be confined to a wheel chair. Here's hoping that this works out sooner rather than later. Mom is starting a new kind of therapy for her cancer. This is a new medicine that has been used in Europe for some time, and since she did not respond so hot to the kemo in May last year, this is the only route that she is willing to try.
It was great to see Gerry last month. But it stinks at the same time. We now have ten months left until he comes home from his deployment. That is going to be a long stretch that will probably be extremely difficult for Dean and I. I especially feel that I will need his support come May. I am already feeling the crushing weight of what is coming for that month. I am not certain that I will even celebrate my birthday this year, just don't feel that it is something I can do. It almost terrifies me to think about May and how I will take it being just a year later since my sister passed.
Dean is doing better in someways, and not so great in others. He is still very angry with Gerry for deploying. I have come to the conclusion that he may not understand that daddy cannot tell the Army, "No, I am not deploying, I want to stay home with my family." If he were to do that, he would be in big trouble, but I just don't think Dean understands that. It might be something that I or Gerry would have to explain. If Gerry had that choice, he would most defiantly say, "I am staying here to serve on Rear-D and be with my family". Gerry loves Dean dearly, and hates to spend time away from him. Not to mention that he loves me, too, and would rather be here at home than there in Iraq fighting a war.
We are starting a new thing in therapy where Dean and I are going to work on communication skills, and other things together. I am very frustrated that he will not help keep the house clean, and have begun to feel like a maid or servant for him, which I REFUSE to continue to let happen. So after talking to our therapist, we have decided to share our time with her to work through this so that Dean understands that he can clean the house and help out and not make mommy feel unappreciated. Lets see how well this works.
I am struggling getting back into full swing with life, school, and other....not sure what other is, but I have many things going on right now, almost overwhelmed. After realizing just how overwhelmed, I have decided that when I get my Associates Degree I want the school to start my bachelor program in August, to give me a two month break, so that I do not burn out on school. Hopefully they will be receptive to this and do just that.
I have been waiting patiently for my referral for my lab band surgery but to no avail. I must call the doctor's office and see if it was submitted. I have also been putting off seeing my psychiatrist, but that is just because I forget to make the appointment when I am there. I have not been sleeping so great since coming home, but that is partly because I ran out of my medication to help me fall asleep and stay that way. I am also out of the medication that we decided on to treat my bi-polar symptoms that have been a problem since my sister passed away in May last year. Must remember to do that on Friday when we go in for our appointment with our therapist.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

A Certain Kind of Surprise Kind of Fun...

Dean and I flew to Arizona to visit my parents in Surprise, yes Surprise, right outside of Phoenix. While we were there we got to see tons of interesting wild life that you can see here, and some that you cannot see here. Being the Blondie that I am, I forgot our cameras. There were tons of ducks, geese and even a few swans. Lots of rabbits and different little birds that are native to Arizona. The community that my parents live in is full of these, so needless to say, there are lots of coyotes and foxes. On one of the last days there, actually it might have been the day after Gerry flew back to Kuwait to head to Iraq, Dean came running inside saying there was this gray thing on the wall and that I needed to check it out. He didn't know what it was and was really dying to know. So I head out the sliding back doors and start looking at my parents privacy cement wall and I really couldn't see anything. I was about to tell him that it must be gone or that he was seeing things (what a great mother am I), and there it was, a little baby kit fox. Needless to say, none of us got our cameras in time before this little pup decided enough was enough and that too many people were looking at him. So he jumped down and ran off, we didn't even get enough time to get dad rolled to the door to check out this little guy.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year....

Okay, so it has been a few months since I have been on here, shame on me. Things have been moving along, and I have been staying busy with Cub Scouts, migraines, Dean and holiday's. I wound up cooking Thanksgiving and just doing two chickens, but they were good. It was nice to start a new tradition, that I really decided we needed. We all had to share what we were thankful for in this world that we live in. Mine was my family, a husband who loves his country enough to defend it for his family and friends, my son who is working hard to be a better person, and that my parents have good doctors and a sister who has taken the time out of her life to help take care of dad. So many more, but these are the most important.
Gerry has now been deployed for three months, and has already had his R&R. I will admit, I was bummed and a little more than upset that he was already sent home for it, but Dean was thrilled that Daddy got to be home for his 11th birthday and for Christmas. He left on our third anniversary, and wound up stranded in Dallas because of bad weather and a plane that could not leave Ireland because it broke down. Thank goodness it was not while it was in the air. We were both a little apprehensive about getting back on a plane after the terrorism that took place on Christmas Day. What a scary thing, and thank goodness that our Heavenly Father gave the passengers the strength to prevent a tragedy, they deserve a medal for saving so many lives. Gerry wound up leaving the very next day and made it to Kuwait last night. He called me to let me know that he was safe, and that he was finding out shortly when he would be headed back to Iraq. Needless to say, he is back in Iraq and it will be another ten months before we get to see him again.
It was a good trip to see my parents. My dad is doing much better than I feared, but I found some of his walking problem is in his head. They are trying to get him into a rehab program that will last twenty days. He does dialisis three days a week, and is loosing the water weight from the family reunion that he put in very slowly. My mom is not doing so great, while there she got a massive bruise on her arm from trying to adjust my dad in his wheelchair, but her doctor is willing to try another treatment for her cancer with a relatively new medicine from Europe. As good as it was to see them and get to spend time away from here, it was much better coming home. I do not care if you are sleeping in a bed while you are on vacation at someone's house, it is always good to come home and get in your own bed. I do, however, have to unpack and clean up the mess that was made as we walked in the house after nine at night, and found that as we were starving and trying to order food, that all delivery restaurents were closed and we had to turn around and get in the car to go to the gas station to get something to eat. We were up very late, needless to say. Dean and I decided curl up in my bed to ring in the rest of the new year and watch the movie that I got Gerry and him for Christmas, GI Joe. After falling asleep watching it, I got kicked out of bed by both Dean and the family dog, Legend at around four this morning. Loving being home!
It was a long 2009. After moving on post, having surgery, losing a sister, being terribly sick all summer, and numerous other trials, the Kings are ready to start this year anew. We are praying for some peace in our lives, and mostly for some peace in Dean's. His therapy is going well, but as with most Bi-Polar children, he still has his days where he struggles. His therapist is a wonderful one. She has started making some difference. We do have some hope to stop the visits to his dad's, but it will take much prayer on our parts that it works out for him. He does not want to go, but may not be able to stop it until he is 12 or 14, depends on the state of Wyoming and the age the courts say he has a voice. I disagree with this fact. I have done my best to raise him with a voice on what he wants, and feel that if he can speak them, knowing the things that will come with it, then he should have that right. I am really hoping and praying it is 12, just have to finish checking into it.
We have a new member to our family, as my beloved nephew John decided to marry his sweetheart on Christmas day. We were not expecting them to marry until October, but certain issues and other things, like her not wanting to wait to be his wife after a year of dating and knowing he is the one for her, made them decide to marry sooner. She is a lovely women, and I am proud to call her niece.
I was finally able to make it into the doctor in November to discuss having Lab Band Surgery. The doctor was unsure of a few things so we made an additional appointment after ordering fasting blood tests to be done. The results were not so great. I am in the beginning stages of diabetes. That kind of scared me, and worried the doctor, since it is most likely directly related to my weight. So, needless to say, I do qualify with my BMI and the fact that other health problems are being caused that are directly related to my weight. So he put in the referal, and I am just waiting for that to come in the mail. I stopped mail from being delivered while I was out of town for Christmas, so I am hoping it is waiting for me at the post office. The actual surgery is going to take about a month to be scheduled, just have to meet with the surgeon first. Kind of excited and apprehensive all at once. Who would actually volunteer to have surgery? I know that it will life changing and help me keep weight off, instead of losing and gaining constantly, or just gaining like I have been for the last year. We are also really hoping and praying that this will help solve the fertiltiy problems that we are having, but we are also looking into adoption and have a plan put in place to start saving for the legal fees and hope to have them saved by the end of the year! Here's Hoping!!!